Monday, April 30, 2007

The joys of long hair

Ok first of all I would like to say that Tracey really has nothing to complain about. I mean if your biggest complaint is that your husband's hair is so awesome that it has been known to blind bystanders with it's luster and sheen, then you have a pretty kick ass husband. We already know that is a fact so I will just move on with my ode to awesome long hair. Honestly, is there anything more attractive than a man with a mane of long hair. I mean Will Ferrell's hair in Blades of Glory was so awesome that it really should have got it's own billing on the movie poster. John Heder's hair comes in a close second in awesomeness but loses a few points for excessive feathering.

I just don't get what Tracey has against long hair. I mean isn't a lot of hair a pretty universal sign of manliness? What does she want some little wussy guy? This is why glam rockers wore womens clothes but the long hair was able to offset this and the chicks were all over them. Could there be any other explanation why these guys got chicks.

The awesomeness of long hair is a constant through the ages. A perfect example is Sampson. I mean he is kickin it with some awesome long hair. He has to spend a little more time conditioning and using horse shampoo on it, but he more than makes up for this by being super awesome and beating an army by himself. In fact all of his strength comes from his amazing long hair. Then some chick comes into his life and makes him cut it and he ends up dead in a building collapse. A lady trying to get a guy to cut off his lustrous hair. The situation seems eerily familiar to current events doesn't it?

Friday, April 27, 2007

This is going to hurt me more that it hurts you . . .

I have the cutest husband in the whole wide world. Unfortunately, he fights me tooth and nail about getting haircuts. I'm not sure why. I think it may be his way of rebelling.

It's kind of like his need to steal Diet Cokes from a certain Mother-In-Law's fridge. The funny thing is that she knows about it and could care less. Ben, however, insists that every time she walks us out to the car it is her way of thwarting his plan. My poor husband . . . the man is holding him down.

I've heard that the most effective way to get him to cut is hair is to employ the Mary Margaret Method (that's his mom). Apparently all you have to do is set up an appointment and he'll just go and get it done. Even though the method has worked in the past, I am doubtful that it will be successful for me.
So . . . from the bottom of my heart, I am begging you, our fabulous readers, to raise your voices in support of the mission to get my husband's hair cut. As a show of support, I would ask that you leave a comment on this post encouraging my darling husband to free his head of this burden. Let his ears breathe! Give his hat some room!

P.S. I know that this post will likely bring some dismay from the West Coast Donkeys and the Lightnings but I assure all of you, this is a plea of love!

30 Rock Roundup

First of all I want to say that it was yet another spectacular episode by the creators of 30 Rock. Before I get into the recap and my sadness that it is the final episode of the season I want to say something about Alec Baldwin and this dumb voice mail that has suspiciously been leaked to the press. I really do not get why people are freaking out about it. I mean you hear way worse parenting at a local Wal-Mart. Now am I saying it was ok for him to call his daughter a pig, no, but you are also just getting one side of the story in a situation where the kid is being used as a pawn in a very nasty divorce. Now I know that is a little more serious than I typically like to be but I heard this is the reason he is trying to gt out of his contract with 30 Rock and there could be no bigger tragedy than him leaving the show. Now on to the recap.

Last week we left off with Tracey missing, fleeing for fear that he would get killed by the Black Crusaders. Of course Kenneth (masterfully played by Jack McBraer just look at this clip) is the only person who knows where he is located. The interrogation scene (sorry no clip but you can see the whole episode) is one of the funniest thing I have ever seen especially when he gets slapped.

as can be expected Kenneth's cousin goes all Misery on Tracy and Kenneth, Griz, and dot com have to come to the rescue. Unfortunately all of this stress with a wedding, Tracy missing, and his mom visiting gives Jack a heart attack. Liz Lemon is called becuase she is his emergency contact. The reason, becuase she is the only person who wouldn't hesitate to pull the plug. All in all a decent episode and I give it 3 out of 4 karate chops

Sunday, April 22, 2007

I hate popped collars

I mean honestly, does anyone look good with a popped collar? There is nothing in the world that makes me think you are a douchebag faster than some teenage or preteen kids with a popped collar. Throw in a pair of white sunglasses and the kid is just asking for a punch in the face. I mean look at these idiots in the picture. I know they are probably trying to be ironic and think they are quite clever but I still think they need a punch in the face.

The problem is that a couple years ago some "musicians", most notably Kanye West and Usher, realized if they tried to be hardcore gangstas would just get laughed off of the stage so they decided to go the opposite direction and go for the affluent preppy country club look. Now douchebag white frat boys can't think for themselves and quickly latched onto this look. The problem is that the rappers have let the look go or at least don't do it all of the time but the morons won't let it go. As trends usually go, it has leaked down to middle America so now you can see kids thinking they are being cool by poppin their collar but in fact they are just emulating douchebags.

Anyway, the moral is friends don't let friends pop their collars and please if you see some poor kid thinking he is being cool with his collar turned up, don't punch him but instead let him know he is not cool and never will be if he keeps emulating douchey frat guys

Friday, April 20, 2007

By the hammer of Thor

So I have decided to institute a new weekly feature where I recap the greatest tv show of all time 30 Rock. First of all for those of you poor souls that are missing out, you can watch some of the full episodes on the interweb. That is right you can surf the tubes and find the greatest show on television.

I have to worry about what I say for worry that the Black Crusaders will get me. Is it just me or does Cleveland look really attractive, but I will get to that later.

Instead of going a scene by scene recap I am just going to mention some of the highlights. First the Floydster is up for a big promotion thanks to a little help from Jack. Unfortunately the person he is going up against for the promotion is an black dude in a wheelchair. Needless to say he did not get the job. This prompted him to consider a move back to his hometown of Cleveland. Now I know you are thinking "Cleveland? I would love to flee to the Cleve." and that is exactly what you should think. I mean lunch with Little Richard and getting to pet a real police horse? Could it get any better?

Unfortunately, the Black Crusaders are out to get Tracey because they think his movie about Thomas Jefferson might damage the reputation of black people. That damn Oprah and believe me you do not want to mess with Al Roker.

During this Liz Lemon also discovers Jack's hollow boned finance may not exactly be who she seems to be and is only after Jack for his gold card (of course made with real gold) which may explain why she was ok with him falling asleep during sex.

Overall I would say it was a really good episode, but not the best ever. It lost some major points for not having near enough Kenneth and having no resolution at the end of the episode. On the good news side 30 Rock was picked up for a second season so that is good news.

Thursday, April 19, 2007


Ya know, Ben gets mad when I say slanderous things about the West Coast Donkeys.  However he see's nothing wrong with making light of my "bird issue". 

It's not my fault that the creepy creatures flap around and try to peck my eyes out!  My friend just recently told me about her trip to Hawaii and how EVERYONE has chickens.  Needless to say, we will be visiting Disney World again. . . Not Hawaii.


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Disney Addiction

Ok, so I am just coming to terms with the fact that Tracey and I may have a slight addiction to all things Disney. Now I can fully blame this on her, before we got engaged I had only been to a Disney park when I was a very small child. I can honestly say that I do not remember a thing from this trip which may be a good thing since I may have done something embarrassing that completely mortified my siblings in line in Epcot, but I will not get into that. Anyway, the addiction has gotten so bad that I will tivo any program on Disney World, Disneyland, or Disney Cruise Lines. This is getting more difficult since we have seen just about every special on these places. The problem comes in that when we watch the programs, after about 10 minutes Tracey will always say that we need to visit whatever place the episode is on. This occurs no matter how recent our last trip was. A perfect example is her saying this only a week after getting back from our most recent trip to Disney World. The changing of Tom Sawyers island to a pirate themed island at Disneyland only made her want to go there as well.

I do question her love for Disney since she refused to hold a bird in her hands for 1 minute for 2 weeks at Disney World. Then again she also said she would not have gotten her engagement ring if it had been located in the Tracy Aviary. I am sure Tracey will post on how horrible I am for even suggesting such things but that is ok.

Anyway, my only suggestion for anyone planning a trip would to avoid the "economy" Disney resorts (yeah they are cheap but in this case you really get what you pay for) and if you stay on the park then definitely sign up for the meal plan. Our sit down meal each day easily paid for the meal plan. Another tip is to eat at Le Cellier. Honestly one of the best places I have ever eaten and if you know what a fat ass I am that is saying something.

The photo used above comes from a guy named Trey Ratcliff who has some cool Disney photos and other photos as well.

Monday, April 16, 2007

TV Junkie

My name is Tracey, and I am a TV junkie.

Up until today I had merely suspected this was the case but today I had to admit that I have a problem. It started really innocently. A little "Lost" here, maybe some "American Idol" every once in awhile. I wasn't addicted, I could stop at anytime.

Then today it happened, I realized that I had missed the "I Love New York" reunion last night.

There are many things wrong with this situation. First of all, this it is the trashiest show on television. Secondly, I don't even LIKE any of the characters. Thirdly, even though I know they will re-run it 50 times this week, I keep kicking myself for not TiVoing it.

Side note:
TiVo is the worst/best thing to happen to a TV Junkie. TiVo is like a nicotine patch. You are getting the nicotine without the smoke. With TiVo you may not spend the whole night in front of the television but you will watch the show later . . . Without commercials.

My bad television habits keep getting worse and worse. Here is a list of qualities in a show that will suck me in for sure:

  1. Heart-warming moments. Example "Move that bus!" or "How do you solve a problem like Maria?"
  2. Countdowns.
    Do I really care who the hottest rock girlfriend of all time is? No! But I keep watching anyway.
    Don't even get me started on the top 100 hits of the 80's.
  3. Hannah Montana. Why does the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus vex me so?
  4. Shows that I KNOW won't be resolved until the season finale or even worse, the series finale. Stupid Lost and 24.
  5. Food Network. Except Ina Gardner, that lady is stuck up.
  6. Anything on E!. I love those Girls Next Door!
  7. SNL-type sitcoms. 30 Rock and Studio 60
  8. MTV shows about whiney teenagers. My Super Sweet Sixteen and Made. These kids need LOTS of counseling.
  9. Trashy Reality TV. Basically any spin-off from The Surreal Life (Flavor of Love, The Fame Game, Celebrity Fit Club, I Love New York, Charm School. Oh so trashy, but oh so good.)
  10. Anything that talks about Disneyland, Disney World or Disney Cruises.

I'm not sure what the cure is but if anyone wants to start a support group . . . I'm in.

The joy of Nixon watches

Ok, so I know that these posts have been all over the place in terms of what we are covering but Tracey and I were trying to kill some time while waiting for a movie to start and wandered into this store called socal style.

On a completely unrelated note, is there anything worse that when you go to see a movie and you accidentally end up in the movie dead zone. You just missed the movie you really want to see and the next one doesn't start for at least an hour. You can always get tickets and come back in like a half an hour, but here in SLC (The Lake as I call it) the theaters are kind of isolated or have construction going on so by the time you get anywhere interesting then you just have to turn around and head back. This is why I have the brilliant idea of theaters with miniature golf courses either built in or very near by. Is there any better way to kill an hour waiting for your movie than playing a couple of holes. I think it is brilliant but then again I also eat so much I am sick for the rest of the night on a regular basis so what do I know.

Back to our time wasting, so we went in this store and it was filled with all of the brands I like, the most prominent being Nixon. Now for those of you poor souls that don't know about Nixon, it is a company that makes snowboarding clothing and best of all watches. I have heard about a recent trend where people are stopping wearing watches and just use their cell phones for the time and I think this is just stupid. Maybe it is a generational thing because I also don't spend 20 hours of the day texting. Anyway, these watches are bad ass. The guys ones are big and beefy and have enough weight that they feel like they could be used to crack open walnuts or some other lame task that requires a heavy object. They are also highly addictive in that once you get one you have to get more and are reduced to checking their web site hoping for some new releases. In other words I would highly recommend them.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

West Cost Donkeys

Ok, I feel the need to respond to the slanderous lies that have been said about my posse and the West Coast Donkeys. First of all the WCDs (for those in the know) have been around since 1732 and past members include Winston Churchill, Justin Timberlake, and Bruce Lee. Their main rival is the Lightnings which is the main reason that it is not wise to flash the West Coast Donkey gang sign anywhere in Vegas. It has been rumored but never proven that Bruce Lee actually died fighting a mob of 20 member of the Lightnings. The lightnings will never admit this but they did find someone near Bruce severely beaten wearing women's underwear suggesting the Lightnings brought a new recruit to the fight. I won't say much more about this for fear of breaking the code of silence. I may have said too much already.

, I despise Peyton Manning worse than just about anything save perhaps Avril Levigne (I probably spelled that wrong but I hate her so much I am not even going to try to correct it). Anyway, when I hear he was hosting Saturday Night Live I was skeptical but this sketch alone made me only want to punch him in the back of the head as opposed to wanting to eat his family.

Anyway, this is a short post but I wanted to quickly respond to the slanderous lies about the WCDs.
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Friday, April 13, 2007


I don't know if Ben realizes this, but he doesn't have a posse. I'm the closest thing he's got and I already harmonize with him . . . but only on the chorus of "Africa" by Toto (was a greater song ever written?!) . AND before he argues it, the West Coast Donkeys don't count since he is the only one in that gang.

I heartily support Ben's statement on 30 Rock. It really is one of the best shows on television. Now that it comes on directly after The Office I have to be sure to go to the bathroom right before or I run the risk of embarrassing myself and peeing my pants laughing.

Why do women have bladder issues?! My friend, we'll call her Tara, (which is in no way close to her real name) has severe pant wetting issues. During college, all one had to do was the "church lady dance" from SNL and the next thing we knew there was a little puddle forming on the floor. There also may have been an incident while climbing a mountain. I don't even want to contemplate what will happen after she gives birth to her first child. In fact, if she is reading this, she is probably wetting her pants right now.


If you have stumbled across this blog then you are either friends and family of the super awesome Tracey and Ben or you are so bored at work that you have resorted to trolling for random blogs. Either way brace yourself for endless blogs about our obsession with all things Disney, tv shows like the Office, 30 Rock and Lost, and Ben's feeble attempts at being funny. On a related note, is there a better show out there than 30 Rock? Kenneth has to be one of the creepiest/best characters ever created. He really makes me want to get someone in my posse to harmonize with, or create the next great game show. Anyway, we hope you enjoy this blog better than a poke in the eye and if you were accidentally stumbled across us when looking for a blog about kittens, this will point you in the right direction