My wife the thief

Ok so fist of all I need to say that my original title for this post was "My wife the snitch," but I was worried that people might confuse my intended definition of someone who thieves things with the more common definition of someone who reveals information which they should have kept secret. I didn't want people to start worrying that Tracey was in prison and was going to get shanked in the yard and various other prison cliches.

Now I fully believe that Tracey worked hard to keep this behavior in check during the dating process. I am guessing that this was due to my adamant refusal that we would be one of those couples that would share food (by the way I was kidding myself if I thought I could get away with not doing this. Not only do we share but I am now always tapped for food clean up duty, eating anything Tracey does not finish. I am sure that this will just get worse when we have kids). Once we were married all bets were off and now if I have something delicious and turn my back I can guarantee that she will snitch a taste. I was going to post a picture of her in the act but she is so sneaky that I am not able to catch her with the camera. Maybe I need to set out one of those scouting cameras to catch her.

Maybe I am to blame. I recall in the past that my sister Margaret would always steal a bite or two any time I made a sandwich. I may need to do some further investigation and/or look into some sort of food protection devices.

Here are a couple videos. First of all this awesome video of Natalie Portman that I hope I have not posted before.

Second is this video specifically for my wife since she loves this skit.

Finally this video is for Sammy who will get this song stuck in his head for the rest of the weekend

The points system

I would like to say that I may have come up with possibly the most ingenious system for keeping out of control baby and puppy crazy wives from over running your house with both babies and puppies or even some unholy combination of the two. You see, I know babies deepest darkest secret, which I will not reveal, but because I know they are out to get me. Unfortunately Tracey does not believe me and doesn't understand that if I let too many babies and puppies into the house the babies would train the puppies to kill me in my sleep. They would have to wait until then because that would be the only time that any of my vital parts would be at biting height of the tiny dogs. This is why I have come up with the brilliant points system.

Here is how the point system works, you carefully select how many points that your household can handle. In our case this is 4. Each kid counts as 1 point and each dog counts as 2 points. Dogs are double because they will never be able to clean up their own poop whereas kids will at some point in the future. this means we could have 4 kids, 2 kids and a dog, or 2 dogs. Now there are a few exceptions like twins count as double. This is because twins always are 4 times the work because they always get each other riled up. The cashing in of the points is also tricky and both parties must agree for a point to be used otherwise it would be complete anarchy. I would wholly recommend this program to anyone.