Cougar of love: episode what the....

I must explain why the episode recap has been delayed. We were at a birthday party for my nephew Romney Monday and I forgot to set the Tivo (by the way, Tivo is possibly the greatest invention of all time. I do not know how we survived without it). I had to watch the episode online which now that I think about it is pretty sad. Ignoring that depressing fact, his show has gone from amusing to completely insane. I will focus on a couple moments.

The show opens with the girls getting to watch a video from Jayanna that she made after she was eliminated from the show. I have never ever seen this done on a reality show before. Of course, she was bitter and talked trash about Amanda (who is completely insane but I will mention later). The video did no good since the girls watched the video and not Mark. That set the tone for this crazy episode.

So they do their dates and of course there are plenty of chances for the girls to slut it up. I thought it was funny that Amanda complained about the shortness of a dress she picked out. Also Maria actually started looking her age when dancing for 20 minutes just about gave her a heart attack. She was sweating as much as Clay Aiken in a hot dog factory (ok that was a tasteless joke but this was a tasteless episode).

The next date was the 21 year old at high tea. This had such forced humor that it was painful. We get it, she is 21 and immature and doesn't know about stuff like high tea. The producers have all of the subtlety of my Clay Aiken joke.

Finally, there was his date with the super cougar. This was the only date that was actually romantic, which gave Amanda an opportunity to act super insane and jealous. I am a little surprised she did not start walking around the city looking for them. At the end of the date there were some "massages" exchanged, and we will leave it at that. Of course, super coug goes back and tells the girls about it sending Amanda's insanity to Britney Spears level, except not so white trash. I don't think she has ever seen a dating show, or knows how they go. Yeesh!

So of course Maria says she will eliminate herself and in the biggest shock of the season she actually does. The real crazy part was they were supposed to fly to Australia and 21 year old was so scared of flying she just left the show rather than fly for 14 hours. Has she not heard of a benadryl and nyquil cocktail for flying. Anyway, a crazy end to a crazy episode

Coug of love: episode stalkertastic

So in case you don't know, I (Ben) am a complete expert on reality tv shows, especially reality dating shows. You can ask Tracey, I was able to correctly predict which person would be eliminated in this episode about 10 minutes after the start of the show. I hesitate to reveal my secrets since it greatly reduces the intrigue of eliminations, but I will share the smallest of my secrets. If the producers spend an inordinate amount of time on one girl and the girl repeats in the interviews they are positive that they will be there until the end, then the chances of them being eliminated is the same as seeing multiple girls on the Rock of Love swinging on the strippers pole. In other words 100%. On to the recap.

I could go on and on about the brilliance of this episode and how it demonstrated that even successful, mature adults can act like 14 year olds. Instead, I will talk about two girls that had their own unique brand of crazy.

First of all there is Jayanna, i.e. the "manipulative" cougar. In these dumb reality shows there is always one person who think they are smarter and more clever than the other girls. This is demonstrated by them attempting to spread doubt about the bachelor's sincerity. The amazing thing is that sometimes this technique actually works. How dumb do these girls have to be to believe a single word that comes out of the other contestants mouths. That is like Bill Gates calling up Steve Jobs and convincing him that Apple's next big release should be a new banana hammock based ipod. Of course this ended up biting Jayanna in the butt but the fact that she even tried to mess with the other girls heads is just stupid.

Next is the token stalker Amanda. I do not know if she is actually this crazy or if the producer just edited it to make her look that way, but this episode she showed that she is not above acting like a jealous 12 year old. There was a 15 minute period in the show where she went from the girl who got caught up and fell way too hard, to the future target of a restraining order. Her wandering around the woods in an attempt to find Mark and Jayanna's date was stalkertastic but nowhere near as creepy as her deciding to sleep in Mark's tent. I would not be surprised if she cut a lock of his hair while he slept and made some creepy voodoo doll. Yikes!

One final note, did anyone else notice that they made it seem like the girls and Mark had to make a long hike to the campground and yet after eliminations the RV was a 5 minute walk away? Just something interesting

Cougars: part.. (breaks down sobbing)

Due to a request by Anya, I am going to give a recap of the Age of Cougars. I have been a little busy and I have fallen behind on these recaps, so this is a catch up post. I am completely convinced that the editors of this show go out of their way to make the youngsters look dumb and immature while they make the cougars look smart and confident. There has not been editing this biased since Cinderella. They make Cinderella look like the the victim when her step mother was just trying to instill a strong work ethic and provide her with an appreciation for cleanliness and valuable work skills. They completely leave out the part where Cinderella is out late partying like a long ago Lindsay Lohan. I also think Mark needs to put more tennis terminology into the elimination. A possibility would be when he gets rid of a girl he could say something awesome like "Game, set, match and you are done" or just yell "out!" like the line judges.

Because there has been so much going on, I am just going to talk about three of the contestants, and why I feel their actions are the equivalent of a poke in the eye. On to the mockery...

First of all, there is Amanda. In every reality dating show there is always a girl that gets caught up in everything and falls hard for the guy. Amanda fits this role to a T. She has decided he is the perfect man and they are destined to be together. To further fulfill the stereotype she is convinced that even though Mark is dating all of the girls and making out with all of them that he really just cares for her. It is always fun to see the girls go off on dates and her just getting jealous and catty.

Next there is the cougar Maria. Now Maria is just completely insane, and has caused me to consider not watching the show. First of all, she thinks that there is no chemistry between her and Mark because he is not ignoring everyone else and just focusing on her. This makes her decide she is wasting her time on the show, and proclaim to the entire apartment that she is leaving no matter what Mark says. Of course, when she is in elimination and all the attention is on her she thinks she feels something she decides to stay. She has hijacked the show and needs to be stopped.

Finally there is my favorite person Mary. I kind of feel bad laughing at her since I feel she is just not emotionally equipped to deal with a reality dating show, but not bad enough to actually not laugh. Of course she was also one of the girls that was talking tons of trash in the early episodes about how the cougs did not have a chance and how dudes were always hitting on her. This girl will cry at absolutely anything. A perfect example was when in a previous episode someone told her to shut up and she cried. It is the highest of high comedy. The funny thing is that she did not cry when she was talking to Mark and he walked away while she was in mid sentence. Awesome. You just can't predict crazy

Cougar recap eps 2

First of all Tracey has been complaining about the plethora of Saved by the Bell clips that I have been posting recently. To be honest, I think she is more concerned with my obsession with a tv show that was a large part of my childhood. I mean, this show was truly ahead of its time. It dealt with such subjects as drug abuse, why white people should not rap, and how to make friends. To prevent my wife from worrying about my obsessions I will attempt to limit my use of Saved by the Bell clips.

Now on to other things. So last night was the second episode of Age of Love or as I like to call it young girls with fake boobs versus older ladies with fake boobs. I have just a few observations about this awesome episode.

First, what is the deal with Mark Consuelos. I mean he really is the best reality show host recently by being likable without being intrusive and trying to steal the show. He is also married to Kelly Ripa so he has plenty of experience dealing with a future cougar. I do have two issues with him being host. First is should they really have both the host and the star of the show have the same name. I know this is minor but it makes writing about the show a pain. Second is when you see the two Marks standing next to each other I always wonder if one is a giant, or the other is a midget. Maybe it is a combination of both, but when they stand together they look exactly like this.

Next is this show is far from impartial. The way they edit the show you would think that the 20 year olds are complete morons that just sit around and say mean things about the 40s. This is completely different from the portrayal of the cougars. The cougs are shown to be interesting, accomplished, and still full of energy and fun. It is obvious what segment of the population the producers are tailoring the show for.

Finally, the show is still awesome. Just when the tennis player forgets how much older the cougs are, they throw in a moment where the oldest coug drops the bomb she has been married twice and has a son that is 25, almost the same age as tennis dude. Just a reminder he is dating someone that is the same age as his mom. Awesome